


Fire and Rain

by pinklink



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Canon however is Dead, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death Fix, Eddie isn't dead, Explicit Language, First Kiss, Fix-It, IT Chapter Two Spoilers, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reddie, Slow Build, Stanley isn't Dead, Stenbrough, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-10-25 10:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20722649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinklink/pseuds/pinklink
Summary: Nobody who dies in Derry ever really dies.  The Losers are shocked to find not just Eddie, but Stanley alive and well after they crush Pennywise's heart. Is this another trick, or is there another level to the Ritual that could grant them all a happy ending? What else do they need to believe in?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This will hopefully be a good little foray into how the movie could have had a happy end, because im in denial BIG time. I haven't actually seen the movie so im going off spoilers here. This is probably gonna be wildly inaccurate but oh well 😂 
> 
> Let me know what you think!! More chapters will come soon!!
> 
> EDIT: I uploaded an unchecked version, so now I've updated it with wonderful grammar corrections!!

When the Neibolt house begins to cave in around them, Richie refuses to leave. His arms won't loosen their hold on Eddie, he's rocking them back and forth, and his best friends skin sears into his own.

It was a cruel twist of fate alright; the fucking clown got the last word in the end. He played them all so well, so much that he left himself wide open. Richie was glad that they killed him, but that didn't heal his wounds. He didn't know why, but he half expected to wake up, like the whole ordeal was a bad nightmare. He can't leave. Eddie is dead in his arms, and the ground is shaking beneath them.

The rest of the Losers are screaming his name, begging him to go with them, and for a split second, he considers staying here. It would be a poetic ending for them, he supposes. Like something Bill might write for a tragic story. The fact of the matter is, coming back to Derry made him realize who he was. When that damn clown taunted him with revealing his secret, he was right on the money. Richie loved Eddie. And Pennywise had taken him.

What else was there to live for now?

Richie pulls away from his friend's desperate grabs and holds Eddie once again. He resigns himself to whispering in his ear because maybe speaking his secret into existence is how he will feel triumphant over It.

"I love you, Eddie. I'm so sorry I never got to tell you."

Somewhere behind him, his friends manage to yank him away. He doesn't fight it. Live or die; he probably wouldn't know happiness again. He understands now what Stanley probably felt like when he got the call from Mike and took his own life.

He watches the destruction consumes Eddie as the losers drag him away. He looks almost peaceful, underneath the leather jacket, and Riches's heart breaks a little more. He was the last person Eddie ever saw.

—

In all honesty, the moments between leaving Eddie and jumping in the Quarry again seem to mush together. The grief of his best friend and love of his life being dead only stings when the cold water washes away Eddie's blood. He can't help the breakdown that ensues but is grateful for his friend's sympathy. Richie was never a softie, but he supposed there was a first for everything. His mind flits back to the kissing bridge while he swims around. A silent testimony etched there forever, the secret identity dying when he leaves this shit hole town.

His tears subside after a while, mostly due to his lack of energy. They're all crawling out of the banks now, and Beverly comes close by to talk.

"I'm so sorry, Richie. I wish there were something I could have done to stop It, maybe if my dreams were a little clearer..."

"Bev," he cuts her off. "I saw your warning too. When I was in the dead lights, I saw what was going to happen. The bastard gave us no time."

She offers a thin smile, clearly not happy with his answer, but not knowing what else to offer.

Then something screams off the top of the cliff above them, and a body splashes in the water.

Richie's heart nearly stops. The only person who could dive that piss poor was-

"Guys!"

Suddenly, the form is swimming towards them. The losers freeze to the spot. As it draws closer and closer, Richie can make out a bandage, muddy and pink on the left cheek. It couldn't be, it was impossible. The diver screams out again.

"Richie!"

Riches feet are faster than his brain. He jumps into the water again, swimming to meet the mystery diver halfway. There was hope in his chest, nearly stopping his breathing. The others were shouting behind him, yelling out the name of someone he cradled and cried over.

"Eddie?"

Richie refuses to believe it until he sees it, still thinking this is the clowns doing. But the closer he gets, he notices things about the stranger.

Kind, bright doe eyes. A nervous curl to his lip. Perfectly arranged hair.

"Hey, Rich." Eddie, his Eddie smiles. Maybe he did die in that stupid cave; perhaps this was heaven.

But then Eddie is laughing at his expression, and saying, "You have to know that it's me. I wouldn't swim in germ-infested waters for just anyone, asshole."

It's like a light goes off in his brain. Richie unfreezes and laughs the hardest he's ever in his entire life. Eddie gets closer and punches him playfully in the shoulder.

"You getting soft on me Toizer??"

He picks up his best friend, bringing their foreheads together. "In your dreams, Eds."

"I hate it when you call me that."

They sit there, content in their closeness for the time being. Richie wonders how much he remembers and opens his eyes to look at Eddie in the light. The paleness hasn't left his skin, and he sees the vast hole ripped in his shirt and loses his composure.

He starts sobbing in Eddie's arms, feeling nearly every emotion known to man. He's holding onto him tightly because he's terrified he'll lose him again.

Eddies voice gets incredibly soft, whispering in his ear, "Rich... I'm so sorry." His friend's arms wrapped around him again, nearly make Richie stop breathing.

He knows his friend like the back of his hand though, and even though he's sure Eddie is glad to get rid of the general grime from Pennywise's lair, he can see the general discomfort written all over his face.

Richie helps him out of the water, nearly blushing at the knowing looks all of his friends had given them. However, the growing mystery of Eddie's reanimation hangs thick in the air.

He still had the hole in his cheek, yet his matching gaping wound had vanished. He was still sallow, but no more than what happened after the Bowers incident.  
  
Richie was alive. Almost like the whole ordeal never happened.

"By all accounts, it doesn't make any fucking sense to me either guy. I felt the bastards claw split me in two; I felt myself dying."

Eddies sobering words cut through the cheerful atmosphere. How were they granted this gift? How was Richie lucky enough to get a second chance?

Suddenly, amongst the confusion, Mike's phone goes off. They all turn to the sound, and he answers with a confused greeting.

Richie notices Eddie has moved beside him, but wills himself not to dwell on it too much. Mike has this odd look on his face now, a mixture of horror and confusion.

"Hold on; I'll switch it to video." Mike presses a few buttons on his screen, then turns it around for everyone to see.

On the other side of the call, a man is lying in a hospital bed. His face is one that the club never thought they would see again. Bill is the first to speak.

"Stanley?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here](https://twitter.com/quirkypinklink/status/1175857022933377024/photo/1) is the drawing I made that inspired this fic!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! im hoping to have a somewhat normal updating schedule but honestly who knows LOL. Kudos and Comments are appreciated!!!

They leave the quarry with a lot more questions than answers. Suddenly, they're talking to Stanley fucking Uris, who woke up with stitched up arms and a hell of a headache. His smiling face, joking, and laughing is like seeing a ghost. He promises to come to the inn to sort this all out. He was due to discharge later that day.

Richie can't seem to wrap his head around the whole thing. After everything they went through, it was really like the game reset itself. Their roster was full again. The Losers Club had managed to all come out in one piece.

He knows he's been staring holes into the back of Eddie's head since they left, but he really can't help it. He feels like blinking or breathing wrong will snap him out of existence, or wake him up again.

Richies not sure what's terrifying, the thought of waking up and finding this to be a nightmare, or having to face Eddie and tell him that he's been in love with the guy since he was twelve.

(Of course, he knows the answer will always be the latter, but he's sure if Eddie rejects him, after everything he'll die on the spot.)

Eddie, however, seems just as lost and miserable as ever. After getting discharged by the hospital and stitched up, he wasn't acting like he had a clean bill of health. Richie didn't want to imagine how much phantom pain he's holding in.

He should be more like Bill right now With this whole miracle. Crying and thanking whoever that he gets another chance to say all that he's ever wanted. Bill had admitted that he knew what Richie was going through, leaving the words unsaid. Now that the opportunity was there, he did not doubt that Bill would tell Stanley right away.

Richie's never been one for confrontation. He wouldn't know how to start.

Thankfully, this mystery was the perfect distraction for the time being.

They say their goodnights, ready to get to the bottom of things and to get the fuck out of Derry as soon as possible.

Richie knows he won't be sleeping, but gets ready for bed anyway. The hot shower seems to add new energy to his bones. He fetches his back up pair of lenses from the bottom of his bag. It's not the same beer goggles he had to endure as a kid, but the chunky glasses takes him back to sleepovers at Ben's, and long nights not worrying about the clown returning because 27 years felt so far away.

Richie allows his mind to wander back to Eddie again. He has tons of pent up emotions at the moment, mostly from going from intense grief to shock, but he's so aghast with a shock it's just numbing. Why was everything going right for once?

He hears a faint knocking at his door around 3 AM, shuffling feet on the other side make the floors creak ever so slightly.

"Come in." He calls, still straight as a rail on the bed and hasn't moved from where he first got in.

Eddie wanders inside, still sans hole in his stomach, looking terrified.

"Hey, Richie."

"What's wrong, Eds?" He makes a move to correct Richie, just like he always did, but smiles instead. Richie feels his heart jump.

"I'm not sleeping tonight; I figured you sure as hell wouldn't be either."

He nods, sitting up and offering the other side to him.

"You know, I was kinda worried you had forgotten that nickname for a second there. Why haven't you called me that?" Eddie sits down.

Richie shrugs, "I called you a lot of crazy nicknames. Eds wasn't the funniest, you know."

"Yeah yeah, I forget you only care about quality material."

Eddies laugh burns; he was giving him a sorry excuse and pushing himself away, again. Richie didn't want to call him Eds because it would remind him of his pathetic pining when they were kids. He only used it because it always got a reaction from Eddie, usually a scoff and a secret smile.

He suddenly recalls overhearing Eddie calling himself that, earlier in this crazy-ass adventure they were on. Huh.

Richie starts to blush at those implications.

Eddie darts with a shout, lurching forward, and Richie thinks this is it, that It was snapping the illusion finally. But he sees no black sludge or red balloons. He places a tentative hand on his friends back.

"What's wrong??"

Eddie takes a minute to regulate his breathing, then flops down onto the mattress.

"I've been feeling flashes of pain. Like that thing still has it's talon in me."

Richie doesn't need a visual. He remembers Eddie's excitement, then his horrible pain.

He gives him a few seconds before talking again.

"Do you remember what happened at all?"

Eddie blinks up at him, obviously not expecting the question.

"Yeah, a little, I think."

He wonders if he heard Richie's confession.

"I remember getting so proud of myself for killing that bastard. I was laughing with you because I saved you. Then," Eddie sucks in hardly, probably going through another spell.

Richie grabs Eddie's hand without thinking.

"Then, just searing pain. Unimaginable. You looked so scared. Then you ripped off its arm, and you gave me your jacket. I hated seeing you that upset, Rich. That's why I tried to make you smile; at least I could see it again."

Richie smiles on instinct at that, ignoring the somersault his heart does at the implications. He isn't saying much at all, which he knows is probably worrying Eddie, but Richie can't breathe until he knows how much he remembers. Eddie squeezes his hand slightly.

"After that, I remember this fuzziness. The others were screaming, and the floor was shaking. And you were crying."

Eddie rises to a sitting position.

"Then, bam. I woke up, and I was laying near the cliff. I could hear you all down below, and it made me so happy I just jumped off. I never wanted to die."

Richie is trying to fight his tears, but hearing the whole ordeal is killing him. He's been too silent now. Eddie turns to him, offering his arms again. Richie collapses. Letting himself go into hysterics.

"Eddie, I'm so sorry I wasn't fast enough. I saw you die in the deadlights, but that bastard gave me a seconds notice. Before I could comprehend what was happening, you were.."

He laughs a little, sadly. "Rich, it's okay. You still beat him. I'm here somehow. Stanley is alive. We won." He hugs Richie again, and he wonders if his hammering heart echoes in the space between them.

"I almost died in there with you, Eds. Mike and Ben had to pull me out. I never wanted to leave you behind." He doesn't want to look at Eddie right now, but his embrace tightens, and he can feel the hitch in his friend's breath.

Eddie puts his hand on Richie's cheek and sighs.

"I didn't want to leave you either."

Richie feels a little more like himself after that and immediately cracks a joke if only to see Eddie smile. They both fall into a comfortable silence, wrapped up around each other like many times before in that shitty hammock. It's like a dam of relief rushes over him. He had his best friend back, somehow. He was alive himself. Maybe it was finally time for him to get his happy ending.

Of course, the doubt comes. Eddie is married for god's sake, and it's not like his scrawny twelve-year-old ass ever figured out what he was feeling for the hypochondriac. It wasn't until he saw him again, in that terrible Chinese restaurant. Only it wasn't the best time, and he only got to be flirty because both of them drank.

Now, he has the frail man nearly dozing in his arms, the chill of the night making him shiver. Richie takes in how beautiful he looks like this, how much he wishes every night could be like this now.

"Mhmm, Richie, you're bony as hell," Eddie mumbles, shifting in his arms. His friend opens his eyes, blinking up at him. He must see how petrified Richie is.

"Hey, if you want me to I'll stay here tonight, okay? I don't want to be by myself anyway. 'm scared I'll float away."

Richie nods, and they shift into a laying position. Its incredibly awkward, Richie doesn't want to make the wrong moves.

"Hey, Rich? Can I uh?" Eddie gestures to the distance between them. Richie can't help it. He laughs a little, beet red and antsy as hell.

"And you call me the soft one, Eds."

"Yeah yeah. Get over here, asshole."

Richie presses up behind his friend, effectively spooning him. He knows he's stiff as a board, but then Eddie is chuckling again, reaching to take Richie's hands and pulling them around and yeah, definitely spooning.

Richie swears he hears Eddie groan something along the lines of "You'll keep me safe, right?"

He squeezes Eddie back, not trusting his words to give a response. It's enough though, and Eddie begins dozing off again.

Richie notes how perfectly they fit together like this, then too, falls into a dreamless sleep.

—————

Richie wakes up with a sharp gasp. His memory comes back of the previous day piece by piece; They had killed It. And somehow Eddie and Stanley were okay, revived and back to normal. He was going to get to see one of his closet friends again today.

He had spooned the love of his life last night, platonically.

That thought shoots Richie's eyes open. Eddie is gone.

He panics. Richie shoots out of bed, sleep pants nearly coming off in the process. He's pulling on a shirt he honestly doesn't remember taking off and getting ready to leave and find out what's wrong.

But then, softly, he hears the water running in his bathroom. Then even softer is humming. He has no idea what the tune is, but then he hears singing.

Eddie. He'd know that tone-deaf asshole anywhere. He raps on the door.

"Yeah, Rich?"

He feels his heart stutter a bit. "Nothing. Just hurry up okay? I gotta piss."

"Gross, thanks for the visual." He laughs a bit at that and sits back down on the bed. He tries to remember to breathe, but suddenly a voice in the back of his head starts talking.

_You idiot. That fucking clown can impersonate anybody. He's probably baiting you again, and he'll come out of that shower and stab you with his stupid spider dick or something._

The shower stops, and Richie thinks his heart does too. He grabs the nearest thing, the dumb alarm clock, and stands on the attack. Eventually, the door creaks open, and Eddie emerges, steaming and towel drying his hair. When he sees Richie, he laughs on instinct.

"Rich, what the hell?"

Richie's body won't move, he's frozen, and his breathing hasn't slowed down. Eddie's face turns to fear.

He slowly approaches him.

"Richie, hey, c'mon man. I swear it's me. "

Richie meets his eyes and the spell drops. He drops the clock and lands back on the bed, shaking and crying all over again. Eddie sits beside him, grabbing his hands and holding them tightly.

"Jesus Richie, what was that?"

He shakes his head once he can breathe normally again.

" I keep second-guessing everything. I keep thinking that stupid monster is gonna pop out and make me watch you die again."

Eddie has a worried look. The stitching on his right pulls his face a bit.

" What can I do to show you that I'm here that I'm not an illusion? I thought last night would help, but..."

Richie wishes it were simple like that. He wants affection from the best friend he has. It would typically reassure him, but right now until they get answers, he can't trust it. Even affection was making it so much worse because Pennywise knew.

" You don't want me to answer that, Eds."

His friend seems crestfallen, and Richie is mentally punching himself. Leave it to him to fuck up what relationship he has with Eddie.

He's drawn from his thoughts by a knock at the door.

It's from Mike.

" Stanley just pulled in, Richie," he says through the door." We need to all be there to greet him, or Bills going to go thinking he's delusional. See you in ten?"

" Y-yeah, sure, Mike." He calls back. Their friend moves on to alert the others. Richie turns back to Eddie, who is pulling on an actual outfit he must have grabbed that morning.

" It's scary for me too. I feel like I'm on borrowed time. I want answers."

Richie leaves the conversation at that, nodding his head in agreement. His head was too full right now. Maybe a little bit of joy will help him clear it up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill remembers something from his childhood, Stanley arrives, and the Losers deal with having to relive what just happened to them all over again.

For Bill Denbrough, the news that that Pennywise was dead came quickly enough, he was happy of course for avenging his brother. Yet their losses hit hard for him probably just as hard as they had for Richie. He was grieving someone he didn't get a chance to even meet again. 

Suddenly, that all changed yesterday. Seeing Stanley, aged up and speaking in person messed with Bill, to an extent. He had, in secret, been reading up on his Facebook, filling in the gaps. Bill told himself it was to make sure Stanley had a happy life, had lived his life to the fullest, before taking it. However, he found himself flipping through the photos more than anything, remembering the boy who made his heart lurch back in Derry. Mourning a reunion that wouldn't happen. 

Except now it was. Stanley was coming to Derry, flying from his life in Atlanta to be with the Losers. He wasn't dead. 

The implications make Bill go crazy. There's something he still has for Stan, and he didn't know if having him there in the flesh was really the best thing right now. Audra had been demanding his return after his last call, he had tried to explain that they had more to figure out. In the call, she had threatened divorce. 

Bill didn't really want to think about seeing Stanley with that knowledge in the back of his mind. 

The night before, he resurfaced memories that made the whole situation even more complicated. 

—

_They were walking side by side, nearly a year since the whole incident had happened. Bill hadn't asked anyone else to go, only Stan. It's a secret place, out in the woods that no one knows about. He can feel the fear his friend holds inside. _

_"D-Don't w-worry S-Stan, it's n-n-nothing scary, p-p-promise." _

_Stan walks beside him, patiently waiting. That's one of the things he valued the most in Stanley Uris. He didn't seem to grow impatient at his stutter. _

_ "I'm not scared, Bill. I'm more worried that you're gonna get us lost out here." _

_ Bill shakes his head. He knows the way like the back of his hand. _

_ They eventually reach it, in a quiet little clearing. Bill watches as Stanley takes it in. _

_ There's a stick poking out of the ground with a little flag tied to the top. A flat mound raises the flag. A small paper boat is painted on it, done by Bill himself. Stan looks up at him, confused but patient for his answers. _

_ "T-this is a p-port. W-when it r-rains, it f-f-floods this a-a-area." He pulls his book bag off, digging inside to retrieve two paper boats, sealed with wax. Stan flashes him a warm smile. Bill continues his explanation. _

_ "W-when e-ever I start t-to miss G-G-Georgie, or I l-if I s-s-see a s-storm coming, I m-make a b-boat to b-bring here." _

_ Stan understands. "This is really nice, Bill. I think he would have loved it. So when the water rises, the boats will sail away?" _

_ Bill nods, too nervous to say anything. He hands Stan the other boat, and they both place them at the flat top of the mound. _

_ "Why are you showing me this? You've never mentioned it before." _

_ Bill takes a moment to consider his question but shrugs slightly. "I d-didn't t-think the others w-would u-understand." _

_ Stanley flashes a rare smile, and Bill feels his cheeks heat up. _

_ "Thank you, Bill." _

_ — _

Bill remembers realizing in that instant that he was in love with Stanley Uris. This memory came to him their first night back in Derry. He had cried himself to sleep, thinking of all the things that could have been. Had his parents not dragged him away. 

The morning isn't the best time to be going through this many emotions at once, and as Bev walks down, she gives him a knowing look. They hug briefly. 

"I'm so excited to see him again." He smiles in agreement. 

Ben was out picking up Stanley from the nearest airport as they speak. They had all slept in, (sans Ben) and frankly, Bill didn't feel like it really made much of a difference. 

He walks out for air and notices something big. Derry feels different now. It's light, and airy atmosphere is not unwelcome, but more jarring than anything. The curse was lifted after all. 

Bill laughs then, at the picturesque ending he was experiencing. Almost like the ones he wrote in the more happier films. 

Going back inside, he sees Eddie and Richie make their decent, Mike in tow. Richie looks like he didn't sleep, but Eddie is still irrevocably alive. 

He feels a chill go down his spine as he remembers Riches pained yells back in the Neibolt house. He really hoped whatever forces were at play here were finally giving them a break. He couldn't stomach another ritual. 

"Bill, wanna explain to me why the hell you're laughing like a mad man out there?" Richie groans. 

He calls for his friends to come back outside with him. The looks that overtake their faces make them seem like kids again. 

"This is so eerie. Like really fucking weird." Eddie breathes in deeply, eyes flitting to every building in sight, nervous. 

"It's like a whole other town." Mike smiles proudly. 

" Its almost too nice, yah know?" Beverly rubs her arms, getting chilly with the afternoon breeze. 

Bill supposes she has a point. Sometimes it seems that when things were at their best, they always have a horrible wake up call waiting for them. 

He doesn't have much time to dwell on it though, because he sees a car start to pull into the drive. Bills heart nearly falls out of his chest. Ben parks the car, pops the trunk, and gets out. The club walks over.

Then the passenger door opens, and _ wow _ the facebook pictures don't do him justice. 

His curly hair hasn't changed much, but Stanley has a killer jawline packed with stubble. He's a lot taller too, and he has wrinkles around his eyes. The bandages wrapped around his head remind Bill of their first fight with It, and he smiles wide.

Richie is the first to speak. "How in the hell did tight-lipped Stan the Man get sexy and I'm stuck looking like a hipster garbage can?" 

It has its desired effect. Stan flashes a broad smile, and gives it right back to Richie, just like when they were kids.

"I'd call it karma, Trashmouth." 

The Losers erupt into laughter then. Bill cries a little as he joins, it feels good to be a whole group again. 

Stan goes down the line saying his hellos, hugging everyone and giving heartfelt apologies. Mike and Richie move to help Ben with Stan's things, Beverly mutters something about getting his room ready, and Eddie trails wordlessly behind Richie. Leaving Bill alone, with Stanley.

"Stanley, It's good to have you back." He smiles wide, genuinely bursting at the seams with happiness. Stan matches his emotions, pulling him into a tight hug. 

Then suddenly, the dam breaks and Stanley is weeping in his arms, taking down his facade for Bill like he's always done. Bill holds him steady, stronger than he's ever held anything in his life. It feels too damn good to be close to him again, to have his most intimate friend back in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Bill. I wasn't strong enough. I didn't keep my promise like i said I would, and I-" Bill silences him by boldly placing a hand on the back of his neck. He didn't know what Stanley was going through, didn't know what Stanley wanted to hear from him. 

Billy thinks about grieving Stan, then avenging him. He thinks about the unbridled joy he got when he realized he wouldn't have to go on without Stanley being there. 

"Stan, none of that matters anymore. You did what you thought was best, and by some miracle, you survived. We're together again." His cheeks pink in the last part of his speech. Stanley has been avoiding eye contact this whole time, instead of staring blatantly at Bills mouth. He looks like he wants to fight Bills words, but instead cracks a heart-melting smile and speaks.

"Your stutter is gone." Bill can't help but laugh at that. 

"You sound like you miss it, Stan."

"Maybe I do." 

Bill has no idea what he's supposed to say to that, but he feels his face full on blush at that. He knows if he speaks now, his nerves will likely force his speech impediment to come out again. How did they get so close? 

After one last look up at his eyes, Stanley breaks their energy. 

"C'mon, Big Bill. I need to take my meds, and feel a pillow under my head for once." 

-

Inside the inn, Richie is very loudly trying to order pizza, poignantly ignoring Eddies cries for something else.

"Rich, you asshole, I can't eat hot things with this gaping hole in my cheek!" 

"Fine, one salad please." 

"I can't eat salad from a pizza place! The lettuce will be all warm and soggy, its a breeding ground for all kinds of bacteria, you sick fuck." Richie rolls his eyes and continues ordering. 

Beverly is sitting next to Ben, holding his hand and talking to Mike. The latter seems excited that the ritual actually worked, and they could really leave the town without forgetting everyone.

"Nothing changed, I see," Stanley says quietly, the smile on his face betraying his feigned annoyance. He announces that he's going to his room to change. Bill stays behind and sits on the couch beside Mike. 

"How's he holding up?" Mike asks after Stan is out of earshot.

Bill nods his head." He seems happy. Lucky. I think it might be best if we don't mention the whole suicide thing." The entire group nods in agreement. It was a sore spot for them all.

Richie gets off the phone, flopping down unceremoniously. "What we need is booze, losers. Who's buying?"

The laugh is genuine, but Eddie is quick to retort. "I can't drink, doctor's orders. I'm sure Stanley has the same deal." Richie blows a raspberry.

"Killjoy. That doesn't mean we can't. Anyone else in?" It should worry Bill that Rich is so adamant about drinking, but to be honest, he feels the same. They could maybe rest easy for once, cut loose. 

"I'm in." He gets a yell of joy from Richie. Ben and Beverly agree as well, and Mike stands up.

"I think there's some wine in the staff kitchen, won't be much of a buzz, but it's something."

Stanley has made his way down the stairs and announces his arrival by saying, "I leave for two minutes, and you idiots are already planning on getting drunk." There's no malice in his tone, and that dazzling smile is back. He's changed into some sweats and a t-shirt. The tightness of it leaves little to the imagination, and before Bill can give it any further thought Richie wolf whistles. 

"Damn Stanley, you have a six-pack? What happened to our shy Jewish boy?" Bill sees the beginnings of a blush start on Stan's cheeks, right after he notices the pained look Eddie flashes Richie. 

Stan rolls his eyes. "Quit it, dickwad. I have to run around a lot for my job." He sits down, and Bill sees flashes of stitches on his wrists. Stanley detects it and pulls his hands behind him. Bill nearly kicks himself.

-

When the pizza gets there, the whole group is nearly dying in laughter, trying to recount their adventure to Stanley. They've just got to the part where Eddie stabs Bowers through the shower curtain. All but two are experiencing a happy buzz, but Eddie and Stan seem infected by the silliness of it all.

"Wait wait, you said what to him?" Stanley asks, laughing loudly and picking apart his slice.

"I told him to cut his fucking mullet dude! It looked horrible!" Eddie is picking apart his salad, only eating what he deems 'acceptable.' He put a few pieces of pizza in the fridge, to eat later. 

Richie howls in laughter at this effectively wasted off his ass. He's pressed right up against Eddie's side, seemingly oblivious to everyone's stares. Eddie, while a little giddy, is stone-cold sober. He tries not to show his embarrassment at the attention. In truth, Eddie was worried about Richie. With the incident from this morning still fresh in his mind, he didn't really think alcohol would solve anything. Then again, if it wasn't for his pain medication, Eddie was sure he'd be toasted too. There was this unspoken something between them now. Dying made him acutely aware of his wants. 

He has forgotten the most important person in his life once. Yesterday, he had to leave without saying all he's ever wanted to. Eddie wanted Richie to want him as much as he did. Last night, while feeling like he was bound to slip away from this happy ending, Eddie wanted Richie there. Richie holding him, tethering him, and he had. He woke up without a doubt, knowing that he couldn't let Richie go again. 

He was in love with him.

The conversation dips into darker territory then, with each Loser recounting their own journey for the totems for the ritual. They don't mention Bill's move to face It by himself, but he can fill in the blanks. 

Bill Denenbrough was selfless; to the point of blaming himself and trying to solve the problem. Stanley could relate, his suicide was a hopefull choice that his friends would finish it because he knew he couldn't. 

When the story draws its close, Richie and Eddie are silent. The former has sobered up at this point. Beverly is dozing off on Ben's lap, and Mike is yawning. Bill is still a little fuzzy, but more tired at this point than anything. Stanley has no previous knowledge, so he hangs onto every word Ben says. 

"After Rich was pulled out of the deadlights, Eddie was..." He hesitates to say it, having to relive the whole ordeal was punishment enough, he knew. He looks to the others. Mike seems lost in his own world, Beverly is asleep, and Bill has his eyes fixed on Stanley. Richie and Eddie are rigid, the smaller is fidgeting with his hands. His chest feels like its constricting. 

Ben can't get a read on Richie but doesn't need to as the man stands up, hands shakily pushing up his glasses. His voice betrays the sudden act of courage. 

"You weren't the only one we lost, Stan. Eddie was skewered by It, in front of all of us." The room is silent, Stanley swallows hard. 

"Jesus Christ. What's going on? Why are...why are we being given a second chance?" Stanley looks so lost, so shameful that it nearly kills Bill not to reach out and comfort him. Eddie is visibly paler, now subconsciously holding Richie's hand out of fear.

"We don't know," Mike breaks the silence." We need to make sure it's permanent, though. Derry is different, happier. Hopefully, we can be too." They all nod, hopeful for good news. He talks briefly of the game plan for tomorrow. Hoping for an answer soon might be a little foolish, but with everything that had happened, a little more wishful thinking couldn't hurt, could it? 

The plan is simple. Ben, Bev, Eddie, and Richie were to go to the library to see out some hard answers. Bill, Mike, and Stanley were to investigate the clubhouse, see if there were any clues there. Hopefully, they wouldn't have to stay more than a night in Derry.

The Loser's say their goodnights, but something tells them all it wouldn't be restful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where we start getting into the Stan/Bill content. Stanley is back!! Im working on another picture, but the context won't come until later chapters. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments, it helps me get more inspired to write!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill, Stan, Eddie and Richie have a hard time getting to sleep. Not in a good way.

  
Eddie had all the intentions to sleep in his room tonight, even making it a point to head to his bedroom before Richie makes it down the hallway. He wasn't trying to be a massive dick, but Richie hadn't given him room to think about this whole ordeal. Eddie was a resurrected man, literally. If he was going to stay alive, and this wasn't some cruel trick, he needed to get his priorities straight. Pining after his best friend, wasn't necessarily a good thing when he was married.

Not that he wanted to be. Laying there, breathing his last breath, all Eddie felt was regret. Myra was controlling, just like his mother. He wasted 27 years in a loveless marriage.

His phone had broken in the Niebolt house. So he didn't have to worry until he went home. If he could call that home; if he could even go anywhere.

Eddie didn't know if Richie loved him back, or merely felt obliged to keep him around like this. He wasn't sure of really anything right now, not with the looming fragility of this whole situation.

The only thing he's sure of is his feelings, and how much he wishes he were in Richie's room right now.

Eddie goes to the bathroom, ready to brush the nasty salad dressing taste out of his mouth. However, it seems like fate is on his side because he left his toothbrush over in Richie's bathroom.

Maybe they could talk a little, and then he'd be tired enough to come back and sleep.

" Maybe you'll stay over there again." A smaller, inner voice hopes. He tries and fails not to listen.

The hallway is dark as he exits his room, but luckily Richie wasn't very far away. His door is open a little, and Eddie can hear a faint sloshing of a bottle being picked up to drink. Shit. Did Richie take the wine with him?

He knocks and is quickly called out to by a very, very drunk Richie.

" Eddie Spaghetti, is that you?"

A yes on the to-go wine, then.

It wasn't like Eddie hated drunk Richie. He was just too handsy, always had been. It would make his mission a lot more complicated now; he could rarely say no to Rich when he was like this.

"I left my toothbrush in here, Trashmouth." Eddie can't bring himself to look up at Richie as he enters, deciding a beeline to the bathroom was his best option. He grabs the red toothbrush.

"Do you not want to have another slumber party, Eds?" Richie teases. The guy is spread eagle on his bed, with the wine bottle from earlier in his right hand. Eddie laughs.

" I would hardly call last night a slumber party, dipshit."

Richie sits up to meet his eyes and take another drink. Eddie can't help the wince he does at the action.

Against his better judgment, he slips his toothbrush into his back pocket and walks further inside.

" Why," Richie fumbles around the word, it's high pitched and accusatory in all the wrong ways." Because we didn't have pillow fights? Play Spin the Bottle? Or seven minutes in heaven? Remember that one time?"

How could Eddie forget? They were fifteen, and both of them were shoved into the closet by their friends. Eddie had planned to tell Richie how he felt then, maybe kiss him, but he kept complaining and refused to even look at Eddie. It hurt a lot. Not two weeks later is when his mother moved him from Derry, and he forgot Richie entirely.

" Fuck you, man." He practically hisses the response, not realizing the emotion until it's already out of his mouth. Even in his inebriated state, it visibly hurts Richie.

The man lays back down with a loud thump, sloshing some wine onto the sheets. He puts the bottle down, finally.

" Fine Eds, get out of here, then." His voice is cracking horribly, Richie sounds like he's on the verge of tears.

Eddie immediately walks to the bed and sits down. Richie starts to cry, curled in the fetal position. Eddie wordlessly takes his glasses off and sets them aside. He can't be sure, but Richie leans into his touch ever so slightly. It makes Eddie's heart hurt.

The guy was hiding behind a wall of jokes, so it terrified him to think about what Richie might say back if Eddie told him how he felt. He only let Eddie be there in high-stress situations like this, never day today. He wanted to be there for Richie so severely.

" Shit, I'm so sorry, Eddie." Richie chokes out in-between tears." Im a fucking trainwreck, and im not even the one who got shanked by an eldritch being."

The joke makes Eddie laugh a little, but inside he hates that Richie talks about himself like that. The comment about Stanley from earlier plays back in his ears. Richie used to be so confident and flippant about anything and everything. It was one of the things Eddie admired the most about him. Where was it now?

" I don't know, Rich. If I had seen that with my own eyes is be pretty traumatized too." Richie meets his eyes; a chord strikes with his comment. He looks so lost.

Eddie leaps, again. Before anytime he'd offer advice, he'd mostly feel like he was talking to a brick wall. Maybe now that they were older, it'd be different.  
  
" You know that everything you're feeling is valid, right? You don't have to pretend watching someone die didn't mess with you're head."

Richie shakes his head, decidedly not looking in Eddie's direction." It wasn't that. Hell, I killed a guy, and it barely hurt. What hurt was that it was you, Eddie."

He can feel his heart quicken at that. Richie flops over, putting his head in Eddie's lap, and keeps talking.

" All my life I've felt like a fraud like I was missing emotions in everything I did. I let people use me as a comedy puppet."

He's crying again, so Eddie lightly trails his hands through Richie's scalp as he continues.

" When I came back to Derry, I found it. The Losers Club taught me how to be a human being, you more than anyone. Even when you moved away, I still felt like me. When I did, it was gone. I didn't know how to feel anymore. But now, I think im feeling too many things at once."

Richie starts crying again, little by little. Eddie's transfixed at the idea that he had that much power in Richie's life.

" What are you feeling, Richie?" He asks, despite every bone in his body screeching at him not to. He's moved his whole head into Eddie's lap now, face up. Eddie can see the sparkling sheen of rhis tear filled eyes. He thinks it's beautiful.

It takes him a while, but eventually Richie answers.

" Fear, happiness. Sadness, all the peanut gallery. Mostly relief, and something else right now."

Before Eddie can even ask, his heart hammering in his chest at all the possibilities, Richie raises suddenly.

He proceeds to vomit off the side of the bed.

\--

Elsewhere in the inn, Bill is walking around the hallways, trying to convince himself to sleep. He's got a million thoughts running through his head, and all he wants right now is to talk to Stanley.

It's not the first time he's thought this, but it is the first time it doesn't end with him doubling over and breaking down. Stanley is here, by some miracle. Right down the hall.

The notion of that terrifies Bill too much to act on it. Seeing Stanley, smiling and cracking jokes busted his heart at the seams. It was way too happy; Bill felt like he would never deserve to have someone that wonderful in his life.

A noise in the hall draws him out of his thoughts. It's a door, creaking open. Luckily, he's out of sight.

He realizes with a start that it's Stanley's door, right as his friend exits the room. He has his phone to his ear, and leans up against the door, seemingly annoyed by the other end of the line.

If Bill moves now, he'll blow his hiding spot, so he decides instead to listen.

" Yes, Patty, I know. I shouldn't have left without saying anything. I know. I know. I'm sorry." He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

" Yeah, yeah. I understand. Bye."

Bill knows the tone. It seems like he isn't the only loser with marital problems.

Stanley straightens up and begins walking through the door.

Bill can't dampen the overbearing voice that tells him to go after Stan. The man sounded like he was getting divorced, Bill was sure he was the last person Stanley wanted to see tonight. His feet still move regardless.

He finds his friend outside, smoking of all things, propped against the porch. Bill can't dwell on the fact that his heart nearly jumps out at the scene.

Stanley never smoked when they were kids and Bill thanks his lucky stars he didn't have to deal with how good he looked while he was a prepubescent teenager. He barely has enough composure to say hello.

" Couldn't sleep either, Bill?" Stanley's voice is more profound, scruffier. Bill realizes he's been crying.

He shakes his head in response." There's too much to think about to sleep, I guess."

Stanley laughs dryley." You're telling me." He offers Bill a cigarette.

When Bill refuses, Stan gets quiet. "Don't lecture me about it. I know I was the first one to rip on Bev and Richie for smoking these, but things got rough those 27 years. My nerves are all over the place these days."

Bill wants to know everything, what took the sheen out of Stand eyes all those years ago, but he instead shrugs and says, "We've all got our addictions. I can't tell you how many times I've reached for the bottle."

Stan looks up at him, sadly. The only times Bill rememberers drinking is when his thoughts plagued him with friendships he doesn't remember, and a kind, steely gaze directed at him. The very same that pulls away, tentatively.

"I think when I get home, Patty won't be there."

Bill breathes out harshly. "Audra threatened divorce if I didn't get back home today."

Stanley laughs, but it's sad and shaky. "Maybe we should rename the club then, Bill. Divorce Club, the ultimate losers."

Bill won't laugh at that. His fingers itch to reach out and touch Stan, hold him close like he only had when they were kids.

—-

The duo head back in, the night air is a little too chilly for comfort. Stan doesn't want to head back into his room or be alone right now.

"Do you want to talk a little more?" He asks, always straight to the point when it comes to his wants. Bill is taken aback at first but ultimately nods, leading the way to his bedroom.

Stanley has some question he needs answers to right away. During their recap, he noticed how silent Bill was, barely even paying attention to the story at all. He knew Bill Denenbrough enough to know when he was hiding something.

Of course, Stanley had his fair share of secrets now. When he woke up from the hospital, alive and remembering everything still, his heart burned for Bill. With his kind eyes and silent understanding, Stan craved the lost contact. His lasts thought as he bled out in the bath were of Bill's beautiful eyes.

He could tell Bill all of those things now though.

The moonlight dimly lights the room, and Stan sits down on the chair adjacent Bills bed.   
  
"Bill, what was your take on everything that happened?"

Bill remembers that twenty-seven years ago, he asked Bill almost the same thing.

He never really understood why the others idolized him enough to be their permanent leader. Mainly Stan, who hung on to every word like it was gospel. He wanted to avoid this topic altogether but knew Stanley wouldn't be satisfied until he told the truth.

Bill sits on his bed, takes a deep breath, and starts to talk. He tells him about how hard it was to move on without him, the selfishness he had when trying to face Pennywise alone, how he yelled at nearly everyone the whole time.

"I don't deserve to be here, on the other side of things. I nearly made us fail our mission." He admits, holding back a sob. Stanley has had enough, now standing and scooting Bill over. He evens his gaze on Bill's own.

"Listen to me, Bill Denenbrough, you deserve to be here. You were the first of us to take action. You helped us get rid of that thing the first time, and now you've rid the town of It's evil for good. You're a good person Bill."

He says it with such vindication Bill begins to believe in it too. He watches as Stanley crumbles under the unsaid.

"I'm so sorry, Bill. I wish I would have been strong enough to come. I knew how much you all would need me, and I took the easy way out."

"Stan," Bill begins, grabbing his hands, making it a point to not touch the stitches on his wrist. "I think you knew that we wouldn't stand a chance all together again. I think you were scared and hurting and it was the best option. No one hates you for it."

"Yes, they do." Stan barks out, pained and pitiful. "You all stare at me with fear. Every one of you." He starts sobbing a little bit. "I don't blame you for it either; I got so desperate to get rid of Its curse that I slit my wrists."

He instinctively leans into Bill, crying into his flannel.

"I didn't want to deal with your faces when I didn't believe enough. When I doomed us all, I slipped under, and all I could think about was how much I missed you, Bill. What kind of coward does that?"

Bill's heart breaks at the thought that Stan thought of him as he died. He starts shedding tears now.

"I don't think you had a say in it, Stanley. The odds were against us. Maybe he manipulated you into killing yourself because he thought we'd lose."

Stan doesn't say anything, but Bill can feel his silent sobs, shaking his body like they did when he would have nightmares. He's practically clinging onto Bill now, but he doesn't mind at all.

Bill reaches down daringly, grabbing his friends arms and ghosting his fingers over the scars. Stanley winces but allows him to continue.

"We don't hate you, Stanley. We're all just scared we'll lose you again." He remembers the twisted vision of Stanley, in the clubhouse. How scared they all were.

Stanley is here, in his arms and alive.

"Could I stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone."

Stan catches him off guard. "Y-yeah, s-sure."

His face flushes immediately at his signature stutter making an appearance. Stanley smiles big.

"Oh, yeah, I missed that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm telling you, I have no idea how I've managed a consistent day to day update schedule. I have work on weekends, so updates will be slim on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. I hope I can finish this out! I already have ideas for the ending. 
> 
> Also, please don't think im making everyone divorce just for the sake of the ship. There's a reason for everything!!
> 
> Don't forget to kudo and comment!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Stanley can't sleep.

It's still dark out when Eddie" wakes up." In all reality, he had spent approximately 70% of his night taking care of Richie. After haphazardly mopping up vomit without a mop, he had changed the man's shirt, silently gaped at how tone the guy was, and tucked him into bed; all in that order.

Richie was propped against Eddie's chest now, drooling slightly into his sleep shirt. By all accounts, the thought should disgust him enough to do some gagging of his own, but this wasn't the first time he had trash mouth drool on him.

Eddie hopes it wouldn't be the last, either.

He's very content with sitting there and waiting for his friend to wake up, enjoy the purely outrageous faces he's making. However, his bladder has other plans. Eddie slowly peels himself away from Richie, tiptoeing to pee.

He scrubs his hands and takes another peek at Rich. The man is holding onto Eddie's pillow for dear life, lanky legs sprawled across the mattress. His heart lurches at the sight. What on earth had he meant before, about that unsaid emotion?

It's then Eddie realizes that he's made up his mind about where to go if he really was given a second chance.

He wanted to be with Richie.

Eddie knows it's complicated now, that it might not even be an option, but he hopes.

He decides to head downstairs to have more entertainment and a break from all the fuzzy feelings. He couldn't help thinking they were premature.   
—-

Eddie is surprised to see Stanley standing at the kitchen counter, hands wrapped around a warm mug and eyes staring out of the window. He looked extremely deep in thought, so Eddie announces himself with a cough.

Stan snaps out of the trance, looking over at where Eddie has entered. He flashes a warm smile in his direction.

"Hey, Eds."

Getting to see Stanley alive and well was a shock that gave Eddie an inkling to what sort of trauma his friends were feeling about him, he supposed. He hated being looked at like he was a visage. Eddie wanted his friends to act like he was really there.

He supposed Stanley probably felt the same.

Eddie grabs a glass and fixes himself some water from the faucet. After taking a big gulp, he raises it high.

"To the Undead Losers Club; population you and me."

Stanley raises his mug in mock salute, laughing a bit. They let a comfortable silence linger, their thoughts elsewhere. Eddie thinks of Richie again, hoping he has a dreamless sleep.

Stanley's thoughts linger to what had him down here in the first place. Showing his emotions to Bill like that was a dangerous game he hadn't played in a while, And he nearly went too far. Sure, it was his initial plan to confess, get it all over with, but he didn't want to get Bills hopes up. Out of all the losers, he really didn't think he should be granted life again. At least Eddie was brave enough to come. The fears start creeping upon him again, and he's not about to have two breakdowns in one night, so he speaks.

"I'm gonna be blunt, Eddie. This fucking sucks."

Eddie laughs. "What, being back in Derry? Or having to deal with all this bullshit while your best friends look at you like you're gonna disappear?"

He hits the nail right on the head, and it takes a few breaths for Stanley to recoup. He should have known that Eddie felt the same.

"At least you stuck around first. 'Hi, I haven't seen you in twenty-seven years, but I killed myself at the concept of doing it' isn't really the best greeting."

The air darkens with the tone. Eddie breathes out a bit too harshly, and Stanley knows he's gotten a little too deep.

"I'm sorry." He breathes out and finishes the last swing of his coffee. Eddie is quick to retort.

"You don't have to apologize, man, I get it. I have no idea what you're going through right now. You have the harder part."

Stanley barely manages to cover the shaky breath he gives at that. Tears are going to start falling if he talks anymore, but he needs to get it off his chest.

"I wish I didn't do it. I hate how much I hurt everyone..."

" Stan, you didn't hurt us. Pennywise knew to push all of us to the limit. If it weren't you, it would have been someone else, there's no doubt in my mind. "

Stanley is shocked silent by this revelation. He stutters out his next few words, already cracking under the weight of them.

"I-I thought he targeted me because I was the weakest link."

"Jesus Christ, no! No one thinks that, Stanley." Eddie steps forward and puts his hand on his friend's shoulder. "You're one of the strongest. It prays on fears, no one blames you. No one thinks you did it because of us..."

Stanley feels a little weight drip off his shoulders. To hear it from some else made it seem a bit truer. His thoughts immediately flit to Bill, who he had left the warm, protective arms of hours before. Stanley subconsciously wraps his own arms around himself.

"I'm glad I was brought back... I didn't want to leave you all." He says quietly. Eddie smiles softly, fully embracing him for a few moments. The atmosphere returns to its relaxed state.

"I'm happy I didn't die too. There would be a lot of things I'd regret. "Eddie admits, leaving a lot unsaid. Stanley knew, had known practically since they were kids how much he cares for Richie. He knew they had slept together that night too, pacing up and down the hallways made him familiar with the rooms of the others.

He only nods his head in agreement. "I hope we can all get a happy ending. It's what we deserve." Whether or not that ending was with Bill was up for debate, but Stan at least wanted to live.

"Do you think we would have met? If we really did die?" Eddie asks suddenly, a little amusement to his voice.

Stanley shoots him a credulous state, already caught up in the lightheartedness.

"Eddie, you're catholic. I have no idea if they would even let you in."

It's not really a joke, but they still laugh. Sunlight is starting to creep into the windows. Eddie realizes that Stanley has removed his head bandages.

Suddenly, footsteps are above them. One by one, the losers club awakens and comes down the stairs.

It was time to get some answers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the short update, I have been trying to work out this complex finale! I really wanted Eddie and Stanley to have a moment to themselves, thus this! this thing will only be three more chapters at most, so buckle down and prepare!!!
> 
> Don't forget to kudo and comment!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie blows up, and Stanley tells the truth.

The Derry Library, while now a little friendlier, is no less annoying as Team A enters. They're early enough that no one else is there, but the woman working the front counter still glares them down. Richie thinks it might be the same woman from when they were kids. A chill shoots down his spine. 

Soon enough, Ben has found the section they are looking for. He and Beverly start thumbing through the spines. The guy is crazy focused, but Ben's research prowess is why he's the head of the operation. If they were going to leave by sundown, he'd be their best shot. 

"Rich, Eddie? Bev and I will tackle the Native American section. You two head to the archives and try to dig up some old information about Derry." They nod, Richie starts internally having a panic attack. 

It was safe to say he just wanted a redo on his mornings with Eddie. Not that he expected the man to want anymore at all. 

He didn't remember anything after vomiting, mostly due to the wine he was chugging down like a juice box. Also, the fact that he had nearly confessed to Eddie. Richie wasn't the best at expressing emotions, and he hated that. He was getting one last shot here and entirely blew it. If the solution gets discovered today, and if Eddie gets to live, Richie will die with all the memories that could be. 

It's not necessarily His fault either; it's that damn clown. Every time he gets close to confessing, that song plays in the back of his head, and he gets flashes of Bowers trying to kick his teeth. 

Even if Eddie doesn't return the sentiment, Richie doubts he will do anything extreme. It would just hurt, a lot because Richie thinks that Eddie does care for him. He's stuck in a horrible in between, too insecure to find out the truth. 

They sit down at the computers and start researching. Richie is practically bursting at the seams to say something, anything. He wants to apologize first and foremost, for all the idiotic comments in these past few days. Richie felt like this whole time he was trying to convince himself that he didn't love Eddie, but that was impossible.

He finally hisses out a phrase, only ten minutes into their research. "I'm sorry that I...blew chunks last night."

Eddie can't help the smile that dances on his mouth. It's gone as soon as it arrives, though. He wanted to get some answers, too.

"Rich, I didn't mind that. I'm just worried. I know it's weird to see me again after you watched me die, but things haven't been the same between us since we got our totems. There's this barrier between us." He shakes his hand back and forth between them. Richie looks like he's about to bolt, Eddie continues, desperate to get all of his thoughts out. 

"All I can think of for a reason is maybe something you're not telling us. Pennywise showed you something, didn't he? I think he showed all of us our fears."

Richie is uncharacteristically silent. His eyes dart to the outdated computer because he can't look at Eddie. Because of course, Eddie hits the nail right on the head. It's making his heart beat way too fast; he's suffocating under the pressure of what this conversation might lead. He wasn't ready for whatever was in store. 

"Richie, I talked to the others about it, and all of us overcame them, that's how we were strong enough to face him once and for all." Quietly, Eddie exhales.

"I think you lied about your fear, Richie, Way back when. Whatever he showed you, I don't think you came to terms with it." 

Richie gapes, he's sweating buckets because he genuinely thinks that Eddie is going to tell him he knows Richie's dirty little secret, say how disgusting he is and call him a- He starts talking to stop Eddie from going any further. His barrier is put up, and he starts performing like he's making a horrible stand up a bit. 

"You know what, I think you're right, Eddie! I couldn't face my demons, so instead, you died, and I had to watch it happen. Trash mouth Toizer fucks it all up again, surprise surprise!" He gets too upset at the end of his rant, standing up and shouting across the whole library. 

Eddie winces, knowing he was fucking everything up.

"Richie, I didn't mean it like that! You can't bottle this up inside; it's only hurting you..." He too has stood up, cornering Richie as he tries to make a break for it. He can hear Ben and Bev's worried calls but stands his ground. Even if it was yelling and screaming, he was going to get Richie to talk. Even if it worsened everything happening between them, he was too desperate to help. 

"Fine," Richie says, broken and now on the verge of tears, he's hysterical at this point, unleashing his will and getting the shit show over. 

"You wanna know what that clown taunted me with?" He starts animatedly dancing at Eddie, disturbingly singing with tears streaming down his face. This was it, his last stupid joke.

"_I know your secret, your dirty little secret._" 

Eddie backs up, horrified and beyond concerned. Rich was always really good at impersonations and for a split second Eddie is terrified that It was there with them, possessing Richie. "What? What is -?" 

Richie wipes his eyes, tears off his glasses and laughs. It's horrible and heartbroken, but it at least quells Eddie's panic. This was his best friend, breaking down.

"I'm nothing but a.. a faggot, Eddie!" The slur burns his mouth coming out, but Richie is too desperate to get it out. He had been labeling himself like that for decades.

Richie chokes out his next words, utterly defeated. "You're old pal Rich likes boys."

Eddie reaches for him, but he pulls away. Now that the secret was out, he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

" That stupid monster reminded me how horrible I am for feeling like this. For twenty-seven years, I was closeted. Then I came back here, saw you and I was forced to realize who I am." 

Richie finally makes eye contact with Eddie since his explosion. For a second, all he sees is the small, frail boy in shorts, clutching onto his inhaler because he was lied to by his mother. Richie remembers a time where Eddie's mother forbid them to see each other because she wasn't an idiot. He smiles, blinking and once more, seeing the current Eddie. He still has that furrowed look, like when he told Richie he hated his mother and always wanted to be friends. 

"Mrs. K was right, Eddie. You shouldn't be friends with dirty, nasty boys." He can see the heart-shattering revelation the statement gives Eddie, likely getting transported to that very day. 

Richie stands still, seemingly done. Eddie breathes out harshly, trying to process all of the information, he's on overload. 

Before he can think to act at all Beverly is pulling him away, taking him back to the Native American section while Ben crowds around a still sobbing Richie. Things are fuzzy, but one string of thoughts are crystal clear. 

Richie is gay. That's his fear. Coming out, and what was that part about Eddie being part of Richie's awakening to the idea?

Eddie doesn't even register they've reached their destination until Bev is snapping her fingers, jolting him awake. He looks into her wide eyes, full of sympathy, and entirely breaks down. 

"I'm a fucking monster, Beverly." She frowns. 

"No, Eddie. You were just concerned for a friend. There was no way of knowing he'd blow up like that." 

He bluntness is appreciated, and it helps Eddie regulate his breathing. Finally, after holding on to millions of questions and thoughts in his head, Eddie talks. 

"Bev, how did you feel when you realized Ben was the one you were meant to be with?" 

She's visibly surprised by the question, staying silent for a few moments to process it. Beverly looks over her shoulder, just being able to make out Ben hugging Richie by the computers. It makes a warmth bloom in her heart, and she smiles. 

"It felt like the piece of myself that was missing was finally in place. Like I didn't have to worry anymore, because I was finally free."

Eddie swallows hard at this, because yeah, that sounded like exactly what he was experiencing with Richie. They had been inseparable since they reunited, but they were always that way. There's no doubt in his mind now if this was his second chance, he wanted to spend it with Richie. 

He doesn't say anything in return, but it's like Bev has read his mind. She nods her head slightly and straightens up. 

"C'mon, Eds. Help me research some more, Ben and I were almost onto something."

He sits down at the table, knowing that whatever happened, he was going to tell Richie Toizer he loved him before the night was through. He looks up to see Ben sitting Richie down for a private talk.

—

The drive to the clubhouse is long and stressful. Group B takes Mike's car, with Bill in the passenger's seat and Stanley in the back. He's grateful for the absence of pressure from the dressings on his head, but he misses their safety. 

In all honesty, he wished he was given the library job. The clubhouse was a fond memory in his mind, but seeing the structure in person seemed to be the perfect formula for another breakdown. He didn't like having them around Mike because he was always so overwhelming, plus Bill had been through too much with him already. 

That wasn't to say it wouldn't be nice to see his second home again. All the stories the walls could tell, and the memories would be pleasant. Plus, time was of the essence. 

When they park the car, Bill glance back at Stan, offering a nervous smile that sends butterflies racing through his veins.

"You ready?" 

"Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose," Stan says quietly, failing to hide his nerves. Mike hops out of the car to get his bag from the trunk. 

Bill is bold, shooting his hand out to touch Stan's knee. 

"I'll be with you the whole way."

Stanley hates how quickly his heart melts at those dusty blues. 

The walk is nothing much, but Stan remembers that in just a few steps, there's a slight fork in the path that will take them out to Bill's secret memorial for Georgie. He wonders if it's still even there. 

Finally, they come upon the clubhouse. It's overgrown, but otherwise completely untouched. There's still that tinge of warmth in the air, and it curls Stan's mouth up. Home. Or, as close as one could get in a spider-infested shack. Mike speaks then, relaying the plan. 

"Okay, so I will search the area around here. Stan, I know you still have to remember that crazy organization system you made in there, so go in and look. Bill, watch out for him." 

Bill nods. "What are we looking for?" 

"Old notebooks, stuff we kept in there about what happened to us. I know there's some research folders Ben and I put together." Mike heads off into the surrounding woods, seeing if their other hiding spots around had anything else worth collecting. 

They head inside. 

"It's all the same." Stanley breathes, grinning wide. He doesn't notice the star-struck look Bill shoots him. 

Their comics, books, and The stupid hammock Eddie and Richie practically lived in; it was all here. Even the ancient CD player, probably still housing the horrible mix CDs Ben would torment them with. It was nice to know that though they all forgot this place, it never forgot them. 

"Crazy, right?" Bill laughs, thoroughly enjoying how excited Stan was getting. 

They start to work, pulling out every last thing, and flipping through. Stanley is at one end, Bill the other. 

Most of it is old school work, but Stanley tosses a few binders labeled "History of Derry; The Truth" and such into the middle of the room to get collected later. There's an old joke book Richie kept, a first aid manual from Eddie. He flies through it all. The last book on the shelf is all black, and Stan smiles. He stands up, moving to sit in the floor of the clubhouse. 

Bill hears his change of position and looks over. 

"W-What's that?" He asks, silently hoping that it isn't one of his sketchbooks where he spent hours and hours trying to get Stanley's curls just right. 

Stanley grins. "It's our bird book!" 

Immediately, Bill remembers. Back when they had all the time in the world, both of them came up with the idea. Bill would draw the birds, and Stan would write the information. 

He moves to sit right beside Stan, to get a closer look at the book. Still, when the pages are flipped, all Bill can do is look up and see his friends excitement. The very same friend who he spent the last night cuddling. It was safe to say that Bill had been screwing over nearly every aspect of his old life. 

"You know," Stanley says, looking up. From this distance, Bill can see the slight tinges of silver in his hair, and that he somehow still has his freckles. "I always thought that you'd never agree to do this with me. I know how much you hated drawing birds." 

Bill laughs a little along with him. "I never minded it if it was for you. Seeing you get so excited when I showed you my newest drawing always made the frustration worth it." 

The comment puts color on both of their faces, and they glance away. Stan leans back onto his arms, and Bill notices the red, irritated stitches on his forearms. Stan speaks, silent and convicting with his words.

"You guys came here to get my shower cap, right?" Bill nods. 

"Bill, can I ask you a serious question, and get a serious response?" Bill notices how his eyes flit down, to the scars. Stanley slightly turns his wrists inward. 

"O-of course."

"Did Pennywise use me to taunt you guys? Like did he use my dead body somehow?" Bill can hear the unasked question.  _ Did he make you all watch me die? _

The course of the conversation makes that horrible visage of Stanley pop up in Bill's head. His mute grey skin and sorrowful look. 

"Y-yeah, he showed us you, but younger. Made you t-turn into a s-spider." The confirmation sits heavy on the air, but Bill thinks about the alternative. Even thinking about all of Stanley's blood leaking out of these wounds made him sick to his stomach. If Pennywise chose to show them that, he doesn't believe they would have been able to succeed. 

"So i was right, to an extent." Stanley laughs suddenly. "I killed myself away from Derry so that bastard wouldn't use me against you. I'm glad at least.." 

Bill can't tear his eyes away from his friend's forearms. Before he can even register it, he's slowly peeling them away from Stanley's side, making him sit up in the process. He lets his hands ghost over the scar closest to him; he can hear Stanley's bated breath. 

"How did it feel?" Bill hates the fact that he even dared to ask that question, but he needed confirmation that his friend's death hadn't been painful. Stanley isn't visibly bothered by it, instead immediately responding. 

"It didn't hurt much. It was just cold. I tried to warm myself up in the bath, but I think it was a different kind of cold." 

Stanley slides his wrist up, lacing his fingers into Bill's. Bill can only look at their conjoined hands as Stanley keeps talking.

"I thought of you. Your young face was the last thing I remember seeing before it all going dark; you should know that." 

Bill's breath hitches at the confession. The tenderness of the statement shoots chills up his spine. He looks up at his best friend. It would be the most natural thing in the world to kiss him now.

He's about to lean in when Mike calls for them, outside the clubhouse. The tie between them snaps, leaving their faces red and breathing rapidly. As they exit the shack, Stanley squeezes Bills hand just slightly, a quick gesture, a promise.

Bill doesn't have much time to think about it, because Mike is rushing them to the car.

Group A has figured it out, and they need to get to the library ASAP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( this hurt to write. It's all part of the plan though. Remember when I said there would only be three more chapters in the last chapter? I lied. I have no idea how many chapters this thing will have. Follow me over on twitter (@quirkypinklink) for updates.
> 
> Kudos and Comments keep me writing and sane!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mystery is revealed, and the first four Losers have to pick and choose.

Richie never really appreciated how empathetic Ben Hanscom was until the grown man has him calmed down and somehow turning off the waterworks. After coming out, things slowed. Eddie went to another part of the library with Beverly. Then Ben has him in a bear hug, and he's crying the last bit of his tears out on the guy.

Ben isn't saying anything the whole time, which Richie realizes is what he needs. They break apart, and Richie sniffs, sadly.

"Did you hear all of that?"

Ben shrugs. "I heard your Pennywise impression. Figured something had gone wrong."

Richie hates how much he winces at that. Shit. He had taunted Eddie with the voice of something that impaled him. How good of a friend was he?

He wants to cry all over again, but nothing will come out. His glasses are folded in his hands, so Richie sees a fuzzy Ben pull him aside to the computer table.

Richie scrubs his eyes, hoping he can get rid of the impression of Eddie's horrified face out of the recesses. He can't.

"What happened, Richie?" Ben says finally, voice warm and inviting. Damn that bastard. He always could get Richie to talk.

"Well, Eddie tried to get me to open up. I blew up, probably disgusting and traumatizing the guy in the process. "He hates knowing that he scared Eddie.

Ben does not comment, looking expectantly for Richie to finish. He takes the bait.

"I'm gay. Or bisexual, or something," Richie puts on his glasses finally, now able to see his friends face clearly. Ben has the gall to look utterly undisturbed by the confession. Did he look that gay? Was gay a look someone could even have?

"Richie, that's perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling like that."

He doesn't think Ben realizes how deep his statement hits. He'd instead look anywhere but Ben's piercing gaze, still too raw.

Richie surveys the library, and of course, he notices the tiny opening where he can see Eddie perfectly, now frantically lost in a book. Eddie is chewing his lip, a habit Richie only knows him to take up when he's nervous. Eddie is there, sitting up and alive.

"You love him, don't you?" Ben catches him red-handed. Richie makes it a point not to tear his eyes away from Eddie, lest he is subject to more of Ben's stares.

Instead, he sighs, watches Eddie absentmindedly scratch the stitches on his cheek, and speaks.

"Yeah, I love him."

Richie's surprised at the weight that lifts off his shoulders. He looks back to Ben, who's got this dazzling smile that makes him happier.

They eventually head back to Eddie and Beverly, fruitless in their research. Once they come upon the two, they are quickly called closer by Eddie, who's waving frantically. He thinks he's found something, amongst some of the old Native American rituals performed by the tribe here.

Eddie's grin is so dopey and earnest; it makes Richie's heart do a little flip.

The other group's called, and Ben and Richie start to clean up their mountain of books.  
—-

Eddie is the first to speak once they all get back together. He flops down a book with a blue cover. On it is a stamp impress of the title, Night's Truth. Eddie flips right to the page, having dog eared it before. The text is super small, but all the Loser's lean in to see where he's pointing.

"Ritual of Macehe?" Mike reads aloud. The notion of going through another one resonates badly with the group, they all audibly groan, except for Stanley.

" Son of a bitch," Richie breathes out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Stanley ignores the protests and reads the entry aloud.

" The Ritual of Macehe is meant to be a bargaining chip. If a person cheated death, they were meant to solidify their bonds with the Earthly Realm by cutting a bargain with this ritual. Each participant must find a totem that symbolizes their realization and appreciation for a new life and burn it with a cleansing fire at nightfall. They aren't meant to earthly posses these totems but be gifted them by those who know them best. If the ritual's completed correctly, these individuals cannot go back to life as they knew before."

" Their relationships and the relationships with others from before their cheat with death were thought to be messengers. If a ritual is to be successful, all those closest will break off their unions, to allow those affected a clean state to start life again."

"Well, that's cryptic." Ben breathes out. His words ring in the air, the truth of them stunning all of the losers into silence.

"So there's a chance then," Bill states, looking over to Stanley, who has an unreadable expression. Eddie is grinning. He looks over to Richie as he nods.

"There's a chance we can stay alive."

Beverly cuts through the cheerful atmosphere. "But if we do this, then you guys won't be able to go home. You'll have to start your life over. "

Eddie and Stan somehow delve deeper into thought.

"How do we even know it will work, though? Last ritual we tried failed miserably." Richie barks, hating the way it makes his friends shrink. If they were going to do this, they needed to consider the option of failure.

"We believed enough to kill Pennywise. Maybe if we believe enough in this, it will work." Mike says.

It's completely absurd, to think that believing hard enough will make it real like they were kids again. But it had worked before.

No one says anything for a while, too confused or running through ideas in their head. Mike announces that the library is closing soon. They all take photos of the entry with their phones and leave.

The fact that one more night had to be spent in Derry was hardening them all. Everyone was in a mood, depressed, and mopey. The cryptic puzzle was spinning around in their heads.  
—

Richie can't stop reading the article over and over as he rides back to the hotel, thinking that maybe if he commits it to memory, it will make more sense. Most of it was pretty straightforward.

If Eddie and Stanley wanted to stay alive, they would have to give up their old lives, including divorcing their wives and starting over entirely. It wasn't fair for them by a long shot.

The part that kept stumping him was about the totems. They were meant to signify their acceptance of change, but they weren't supposed to know what their totems were. That task was up to who knew them best.

As the rest of the losers head upstairs for the night, too down to hang out like they had last night, Richie stays behind. He tells them all he was going for a walk, but in reality, he just needed to breathe.

"Those that know them best." Richie reads aloud. The obvious answer was him and Bill, those four were the first losers after all. He hates that it's not coming quickly. He hates that all the pressure is on his shoulders. Eddie was his best friend, and he couldn't give him a happy ending.

Suddenly, after the third or fourth time he passes by the front door, he sees Bill emerge from the inn. He looks just as wrecked as Richie feels.

He fumbles down the stairs, out to Richie.

"I think we have to help them, Rich. "Richie nods.

"I think so too. We were all friends before. I can't figure out what the hell their totems would be."

Bill stands, hands on his hips, trying to think through it.

"Maybe we're overthinking things. What was the first thing you remembered when you saw Eddie again? Maybe these visions aren't just memories coming back. "

Richie straightens in shock. That was it. The first time he saw Eddie after he jumped into the quarry, all he could think about was the kissing bridge. The totem had to be there.

He grabs Bill by the arms, excited and jumping all of a sudden.

"That's it, you beautiful idiot!" He laughs, and it's so contagious that Bill can't help but laugh too. Before he can blink, Richie is tearing off into the house, grabbing his keys, and running off for his car.

"Where are you going??" Bill yells, a little lost. Richie motions for him to come over to the car.

" You said it yourself, Big Bill. It's us. We have to find their totems. I think I know where Eddie's is." He looks directly at Bill as he says the next sentence." You have to find Stanley's. We should do it tonight. Let's end this shit and get the fuck out of Derry, once and for all."

The power behind Richie's words hits him hard. Bill waves his friend off and saunters back to the entrance. He had an idea of where Stanley's totem was — taking his advice conjured up images of Georgie's memorial. Of Stan's kind eyes and smile.

There was no denying the mural attraction now, but it still made the air teeter with uncertainty. Bill was never a believer in things until they were undoubtedly true; of course, he'd apply the same to this.

Well, it was about time to get some answers. Bill renters the inn, and in a few steps, he's standing outside Stanley's door. Bill knocks twice, but it opens before he can attempt a third. Stanley hasn't changed into sleep clothes. Bill quirks his eyes at the detail.

"Planning to go somewhere?"

Stanley quirks his mouth up slightly. "Maybe I was waiting for someone to take me somewhere."

Bill takes his wrist and leads him down the staircase. He quickly realizes that that was indeed his car that Richie had managed to speed off in, and Stanley came via chauffeur Hanscom.

As they walk back out into the crisp air, something off to the left shimmers in the moonlight, drawing Bill's attention. He smiles at the realization and leads the way to his dependable trusty steed.

"Oh my god, Bill. If you think both of our asses can squeeze onto Silver, you have gone crazy." Stanley laughs, but Bill gives him a determined look.

"I'm serious, Stan. It's not that far, and neither of us has any transportation."

Even in the dark, he can see Stanley slightly chew on his lip, a nervous tick from when they were kids. He looks between Bill and the bike.

"Fine. Just don't go throwing me off."

Bill raises his hand. "I swear I will try to steer this thirty-year-old bike to the best of my ability."

Stanley laughs with him and starts coming in closer, sitting on the back of the seat. Bills still natural, and takes them off full speed, laughing and screaming with all the carelessness in the world.

"Heigh-Ho Silver!" Stanley calls out. He quickly repositions himself to be holding onto Bill's waist, and they leave the lawn of the inn.  
—-

Eddie was very adamant about dissecting every single word about the ritual. In a short time, they were back at the inn, he had managed to rewrite the whole thing onto a scrap piece of paper and was now in the process of annotating everything.

A lot of it was straight forward, some of it was cryptic but understandable. Eddie blew through it all and realize with a start that may be the only shot he had at happiness was through a confession.

The passage mentioned those brought back would need to embrace their new life with the totem. Meaning that even if they found the things, it would do no right if he and Stan weren't 100% sure this was the path they wanted to go down. Death was the other option, but still. They had whole lives.

Would he be willing to give it up, for Richie?

The answer is an easy yes. For Eddie, it was always Richie. Since they were kids, and he had forgotten that. He didn't want to forget it again.

Eddie stands up from his bed, fists clenched in concentration. He was going to tell Richie that he loved him.

He walks out of his door and knocks twice on Richie's door.

No answer.

Eddie enters anyway.

No Richie.

He surveys the room, checking for any clues or things out of the ordinary. There on the dresser are Richie's keys. Eddie's heart sinks. He grabs them, and heads out the door, intent on tracking down the bastard but silently hoping that he was unharmed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!! Sorry for the radio silence, life got in the way. Please excuse the snails pace of this lmao. Next chapter will hopefully make some of you happy :)
> 
> Kudos and Comments are appreciated and will push me to finish this thing, once and for all!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Stanley revisit a place from their memories, and Eddie goes on a manhunt for the resident Trashmouth.

The bike ride is honestly one of the most uncomfortable trips Stanley has ever been on. The seat was so worn down; it was practically a metal frame at this point, and the back roads were unforgiving. He definitely wasn't a teenager anymore. 

It's perfectly okay, though, because of who he was with. 

Stan has never seen Bill so youthful. He's got this dopey grin plastered all over his face, and his hair is caught in the wind. He's so beautiful like this.

Eventually, their destination is achieved. Silver skids to a bouncy stop, Bill's long legs pressing firmly on the ground. They haven't spoken since they left, and Stanley's head is buzzing with all the possibilities of what might happen. 

Bill kicks out the stand. The sun is just setting, so the path is pretty clear. They're close to the clubhouse. Bill doesn't look back to Stanley at all, instead walking forward with the expectation that he'll follow. He can see Bill shaking; It both worries and excites him. 

They pass the structure entirely, instead taking a path to the left. 

Eventually, right as they're about to enter the clearing, it dawns on Stanley where they are heading. He remembers a beautiful boy handing him a paper boat, and a secret that only they shared. 

When they reach the 'port,' it's miraculously only a little worn down. The flag is still hanging tough, the paint is a bit faded. 

"It's nice to see it hasn't changed," Stanley says, quietly. He finally walks forward to face Bill. The poor guy is biting his lip in nervousness, whatever he was going to say was going to be big. 

"I think I f-figured it out, S-Stan. The R-Ritual," Bill starts, fisting his hands and shoving them into his pants pockets. He walks forward a little, stopping at the post and taking the flag off. He steps up to Stan and hands it to him. "T-this is your totem, I k-know it." 

"How are you sure?" Stanley asks, not to be doubtful, but to be 100% positive. He didn't want the chance of dying all over again. 

"B-because, it said it would be g-gifted to you by s-someone who k-knows you b-best. It signifies you w-wanting to s-stay alive." 

Stan is speechless; He grips the flag tight in his hands. Bill continues, pacing around the clearing. 

"I know it's that f-flag because of t-the memory we had of it, together. I only t-thought of it w-when you came b-back."

"What do you remember about that day?" Stanley interjects, his breathing is staggered. Tears are filling his eyes. He doesn't give Bill enough time to answer. 

"I need you to be sure, Bill. I can't lose you, or the Losers Club again."

Bill walks up to him, painstakingly slow. He takes Stanley's hand, his own shaking violently. 

"I r-remember you smiling at me, and k-knowing that I-I w-was in l-love w-w-with y-you."

All air seems to evacuate the forest. Stanley can't breathe, Bill is so close and now his shaky hand is trailing up Stanley's arm to rest at his neck. 

Stanley starts to cry. 

"I hate this. I hate that we forgot each other, forgot what we could have had. We lived our whole lives apart, Bill. How are we lucky enough to be here, right now? How can you be okay with leaving that all behind for me?" 

Bill's hand moves up to cup his face. His thumb brushes Stanley's tears away. 

"Because I was meant for you, Stanley," 

Bill surges forward, finally kissing lips that he's been chasing since a kid. His own tears start to fall, grieving the fact that this was the first time he'd ever done this with Stanley. 

Stans's lips are so warm and inviting under his own, perfectly matched against him. 

Bill pulls away but doesn't go very far. Their breaths mingle between them. They both smile wide. 

"Are you okay, with this, with me? I-If we do the r-ritual, you can't go back, neither can I. I-is that what you r-really want?" 

Stanley shushes him with a chaste kiss on the lips. 

"I love you, Bill. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter what happens. That's how it always should have been." Stanley laughs as Bill pulls him into another kiss. 

This one turns desperate, Bill clinging onto Stanley's form and crying. He breaks off and whispers in between kisses. 

"I never thought I'd get to have this." 

Stanley holds him tight and sheds a little more tears too.

"Me either, Bill."

——

Eddie has been driving through Derry for what feels like an eternity. It's dark out now, and he's crawling through town, high beams blaring. There are no other cars out there. 

To say his anxiety was skyrocketing would be the understatement of the century. A million thoughts are filtering through his brain, and Eddie tries his best to disarm them as they come.

_ What if Richie left Derry completely?  _

If he left, he would have 1. Taken his own car and 2. Taken his luggage, which was still strewn around his room at the inn. 

_ What if you're wrong about him, about how he feels?  _

Eddie hates that he can't dispel that one. He hates the way it completely overpasses his thoughts, chilling his heart and dropping his stomach. He hated how he always fucking over guessed himself to the point of insanity. 

He decides to start taking some outer roads. If he was honest with himself, something was telling Eddie that going outside of Derry was a Very Bad Idea, like he'd go back to being dead. 

Once more, Eddie tries to think of every stupid place that stupid Trashmouth would be in Derry. He wasn't at the arcade, or the school or even the clubhouse. The quarry was empty, and nearly every building in town was eerily still. 

Eddie turns on the radio to Richie's car, hoping the music will help him calm his nerves. Richie had it left on a nineties station. 

_ Kiss me out of the bearded barley _

The words hit Eddie like a ton of bricks. The only place he hadn't thought to look. 

The old kissing bridge. 

He makes it there in probably illegal timing, but sure enough, there's Bill's car. Parked at the gravel side road, shining its headlights onto a tall figure crouched beside the wooden slats of the bridge. At the sound of the car, the character raises and turns. 

Richie's eyes meet Eddie's as Sixpence plays on. 

_ Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance _

_ Silvermoon's sparkling _

_ So kiss me _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can i just say how much I appreciate every single one of you?? I have never been able to cohesively update a story like this before, and get such an overwhelmingly positive response. There is one more chapter to this, and then an epilogue :) If there's any interest, I can definitely write some smut for these two pairings that coincides with the story, as standalone pieces! Let me know!!
> 
> I'm actually working on a small Reddie one-shot beside this one as well, so keep your eyes peeled for it! 
> 
> The song playing on Richie's car radio is Kiss Me by Sixpence.
> 
> Kudos and Comments make me smile!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Richie figure some stuff out.

Richie hadn't set foot on the Kissing Bridge since he carved his secret here, nearly thirty years ago. He made it a point to not go near it, or even bring it up to anyone, on fears that they'd somehow see that 'R+E' and figure it out immediately.

Yet here he was, bent over and recarving it, in hopes that he would solidify his stupid pocketknives place as Eddie's totem. The plan was to give it to him and confess, finally. No getting around it. The ritual was meant to absolve everyone of everything. He hopes Eddie will choose him.

His plan quickly goes tits up when the headlights of his own car nearly scare him half to death. Eddie's there, in the front seat, and is that fucking Sixpence he's hearing? 

This was straight out of a 90's rom-com. Richie briefly laughs internally at the thought, then his nerves and brain catch up to him. 

Richie instinctively walks towards the car, trying to prevent Eddie from seeing the carving. 

As Eddie gets out, his face is bright red with anger or embarrassment, Richie isn't sure what at the moment.

"Richie, you fucking asshole!" 

Anger it is, and it certainly doesn't fit with the sweet song concluding in the background. Richie doesn't even get a chance to respond before Eddie is firing away, mouth going a mile a minute. 

"I've driven around this shithole town nearly ten times looking for your ass, worried out of my mind that you're dead in a ditch or somehow worse, and I find you here? On the stupid kissing bridge." 

Richie can't help how he wilts at Eddie calling the bridge stupid, but he talks anyway.

"I was trying to find something, I'm sorry. I can't contact you because you're phone is dust, and it was important." 

Eddie looks really dazed and confused, the anger fizzling out pretty quickly. He's just happy Richie is okay. 

"Yeah, well... I've got something important to tell you. I went to your room, and you were already gone."

Eddie's eyes dart around, eventually landing on the knife still unsheathed in Richie's palm. 

"Why do you have that?" Richie closes it, raising it up and pushing it into Eddie's hand. 

" It's your totem, Eddie." 

Eddie's mouth flies open. He looks down at the damn thing, turning it over and over in his palm. He can't help the way his eyes linger on the bridge. Richie had carved something there, he's sure of it. 

"How are you sure, Rich?"

Because I'm in love with you, Richie thinks, watching Eddie's brow deepen with confusion. His mouth tells a different story by not working at all. 

Instead, Richie drops his head, not really sure how in the hell he's supposed to approach the question. His fists clench awkwardly at his side, he's frozen still. 

Eddie sighs a little at the sight and tries a different approach. 

"Did you give me your coat? Back in the Neibolt house?" 

Richie snaps up at that, his eyes big and glassy. He can only nod and say," How do you know that?"

"I was in this weird in-between state, for a while there. Almost dead, almost not. But I remember you saying that the clown was dead, and holding me close. Then I felt your jacket on my body."

Eddie dares to approach Richie a little more, putting the knife in his pocket for the time being. 

"Do you remember anything else?" Richie asks, hands still clenched. 

Eddie shakes his head. "I could hear you talking, but the words weren't clear."

This was it, a do or die moment. Eddie's eyes are making these rigid walls Richie is trying to build up melt. They're on the fucking kissing bridge for Christ's sake. If it was a romantic comedy, and this was the big final scene.

Richie takes a deep breath and believes in the absurdity for a bit. 

"I told you that I love you, Eddie. Being gay wasn't my only secret that clown knew about." 

Eddie sees his floodgates open, and moves in quickly, allowing him to weep on his shoulder. He hugs Richie tight, fingers tingling and heart fluttering. The air was so much easier to breathe now, and it finally sinks in that yeah, of course, Richie Toizer loves him. 

Richie's still crying quietly, but Eddie peels him off his shoulder to get a good look at his face. He cups Richie's cheeks with his hands.

Eddie leans in and kisses him. 

Richie can't help the way his eyes practically bulge out of his head at the contact, but he quickly softens up, tilting Eddie's head up to deepen the kiss. 

The bastard dares to moan a little and wow, okay, that immediately lit a fire under Richie's ass. He somehow inches closer to Eddie, and Eddie grips his jacket like it's a lifeline. 

Of course, even the best make-out session Richie's ever had in his life ends because of a lack of oxygen. Eddie pulls them apart, gasping and reaching into his pocket for his phantom inhaler. 

He realizes the tick and freezes. His eyes meet Richie's. 

Then they start laughing. 

It's a good, deep laugh; Full of joy and hopefulness. It echoes off the bridge and bounces off their cars, filling their souls to the brim. 

Richie knows the last time he laughed like that; he was much much younger, cutting up with a tiny boy that made his heart feel free. 

That same boy, now older and a lot wore down, wipes his eyes.

" I love you, Richie Toizer." The confession makes both of them grin. 

Richie can't help but let out a happy sob. He pulls his hand to his mouth, letting the tears fall. Eddie is there to hold him again. 

They both stand there, foreheads together, basking in the glow of how glorious it feels to be there. With each other, with nothing to hide. 

" I can't...I can't believe I get to have this," Richie confesses, trying to decide if he should smile or frown. He instead presses a soft kiss to Eddie's head. 

Eddie squeezes Richie a little tighter, not finding the words to really convey how he feels. 

The knife is heavy in Eddie's pocket, a reminder. 

"You didn't answer my question, Rich." He murmurs into Richie's shirt. 

Richie separates them but keeps his hands around Eddie's wrist. 

"I'll show you."

He pulls Eddie along, stopping at the bridge. It's hard for Eddie to see with the blinding headlights, so he crouches down.

There, among the old carvings, is a fresh one. Its edges are worn, meaning it was simply recharged. 

R+E 

Eddie's heart nearly bursts at sight, he runs his fingers over it. It's his turn to start the waterworks. He's been holding it in all this time, but the sense of relief is nearly overwhelming. He's on his knees, the closed knife in his hands, and he weeps. 

Richie, at some point, sits beside him, holding onto his hand. 

"I carved it, back when we were kids. Bowers had grilled into me, and I finally accepted it what he was calling me as true, I knew I loved you, so I carved this." 

Eddie can't speak through the tears. 

Richie silently takes the knife from him. 

"I knew this was your totem because it's about us, Eddie. I'm the person that knows you best. We are meant to be together, and It wanted to stop us from realizing that."

Eddie looks up at Richie, finally finding words. 

"If we do this, we won't be able to go back, Rich. Our lives will have to start over. We can't... are you okay with that? All your money? Fame? For me?"

Richie kisses him again. 

"It's not worth anything if you aren't with me, Eddie. Besides, I'm washed up. Early retirement sounds pretty nice to me. I think I'd like to try  _ writing _ some decent material for once."

Eddie smiles a little at that. 

The two stand up. 

"Are you okay with leaving your life?" Richie asks. 

Eddie just scoffs. "When you accidentally call your wife '_M__ommy_,' I think the romance is dead." 

Richie nearly wheezes with laughter, it's infectious nature causing Eddie to join in too. Just like when they were younger. 

"Besides," Eddie continues, "I think a quiet life is what I need." He squeezes Richie's hand for emphasis. Richie grins.

"C'mon, let's grab our happy ending by the balls and take it." 

The two kiss one more time before getting back into their cars, heading out to complete the ritual, once and for all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so i was GOING to make this have another part about the ritual, but this felt like a natural stopping point. This was a very challenging scene to right, mostly bc of all the build-up.
> 
> Next chapter is the finale!! I'm still so so grateful how much luck I've had with this. I've heard your requests, so this will not be the last time I visit these characters. I will be making some smut thats sort of a continuation? of this?. It will be separate fics, so keep your eyes out for them. 
> 
> I am actually first and foremost an artist, so if you want to see what i do go follow me on twitter! My username is @quirkypinklink. I'm planning some pictures related to this!! I'll likely stick the links in later!
> 
> One more to go! Don't forget to comment or Kudo!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ritual is performed, and the Loser's get their ending.

The ride back to the inn's filled with side glances and laughter. Stanley has his arms wrapped firmly around Bill's hips and doesn't think he could be any happier. 

For Bill, it feels like something finally sliding right into place, a hole finding its shape. Both men are intoxicated with the taste of something so right after years doing wrong. 

They aren't really rushing, allowing slight conversation here and there. It's mostly just a back and forth of questions and answers about their feelings. It feels like their teenagers again.

Once they reach the inn, Stanley hops off, allowing Bill to park Silver. Their bases are pretty much covered, but Stanley blurts out one last question, his hands curling in uncertainty. 

"Bill, when did you know? That you loved me? Back when we were kids..."

Bill smiles at his shaky voice. He walks up to Stan, grabbing his hands. 

"I think it came slowly. I was always thinking of you, wanting to do stuff you liked, go places with you. When I showed you the port I made for Georgie, and you smiled at me, it all clicked." 

This makes Stanley break out in a grin. Bill brings one of Stanley's hands to his lips. 

"What about you?" Bill asks, continuing the banter. 

"It was there too, actually. I noticed you separating us from the others, but I just thought it was because you were sick of Richie, or wanted to get away from being so awkward around Bev... Then you looked at me differently, out there at the port."

Stanley reaches up to hold Bill's face. "You're eyes were so clear and beautiful then. I never stopped thinking about them." 

They pull into a simple kiss, ending the conversation for now. There's still a ritual to perform, after all. 

"What about Eddie's totem?" Stanley asks, stepping beside Bill as they enter the inn. 

"Richie's got that covered, I'd imagine." Stan laughs loudly at the absurdity of it all. Here they were, about to hit reset and go into a great big unknown. It was terrific, but still, there was so much hesitation. 

If it didn't work, what would happen to him and Eddie? 

Stanley tries to keep his apprehension at bay, they enter the building, and Bill leads him to the fireplace. 

"I'll go find some firewood, you try to get the thing set up, yeah?" 

Stanley nods in agreement and laughs as Bill pulls him in for a quick peck to his forehead. 

He thought that if anyone could help him, or give him the strength to do this, it would be Bill. 

—

Finding firewood wasn't necessarily a difficult task to accomplish, but knowing that Stan's stitches might catch on the wood made the decision easy. Bill walks to the back of the inn, feet heavy with the weight of what was about to happen. 

With the Ritual of Chud, he had gone along blindly, and the Losers got lucky with finding the answer. That still didn't excuse that they ultimately failed. Would this new ritual be the same? 

Bill tries to shake the thoughts as he finally locates the back door. There's a silhouette standing outside that terrifies him for a split second. However, as he steps forward, he recognizes them. 

"Did you figure it out?" Mike Hanlon asks, still dressed in his clothes from earlier. He likely hadn't even set foot in his room yet. Bill nods in reply.

"I just want Stan to be happy. He deserves that, after everything."

Mike smiles, clapping his shoulder. The unsaid is spoken between them, the description of the ritual was right. For them to do this, they needed everyone to absolve their past lives. 

"It will be hard, having to start over, but I think you can do it. You deserve to be happy, too, Bill." Mike says, crinkling his eyes sincerely. 

Bill wanted that too, and he knew deep down that happiness was with Stanley. His constant obsession with terrible endings was because he never got the end he wanted. 

He could have it, with Stan. 

—

Stanley hates how physically weak this whole ordeal has made him. The doctors told him he wouldn't regain it until a few weeks later. He's struggling to get the fireplace gate open, frustratedly pulling on the metal bar. 

He hears two cars pull in outside, and then Richie and Eddie are walking in. 

Stanley finally manages to pull the damned thing open, he falls backward on his ass and laughs at the absurdity. 

"You high on pain meds or something, Stanley? It's like seventy degrees outside." Richie calls from the entryway. 

"It's for the ritual, dumbass." Stan smiles from where he sits, raising to stand and greet his friends. 

He turns to Richie and Eddie, wholly not expecting them to be holding hands like some bashful teenagers. They catch his pointed stare and break apart, color rushing to both of their cheeks. 

Just then, Bill returns with Mike. They drop their bundles into the fireplace, and Bill resumes his post by Stanley's side. 

"Do you have the totem?" Bill asks. 

Richie swallows hard and nods. Mike announces that he's going to grab Ben and Bev, and leaves the new couples alone. 

The air is odd, weighted by the bashful nature of each. 

"Well, aren't we a bunch of dumbasses," Eddie mutters under his breath. 

That cracks them all up, they're doubled over laughing, caught up in the joy. Eddie grabs Richie's hand again.

"I think we can do it this time. We can make it work." Stanley says, choosing to press against Bill. 

They're all smiles and happiness, and for once, it doesn't feel like the world will crash down around them. 

—-

Once the others join and the fire is lit, Eddie and Stanley step forward. Eddie begins, showing the knife and speaking. 

"Richie gave me this. It reminds me of being a kid again, cutting up with my friends, being able to breathe and be myself. Being able to love who I want and not worry about the consequences. I'd like to start my new life keeping that in mind." 

He tosses the knife into the flame, Richie looks on with big tears in his eyes, unable to hide the smile on his face. 

Stanley presents the flag. 

"This represents a secret that Bill and I kept together, our own little place. It represents how courageous I can be, with the right people behind me. I want nothing more than to live my life as brave and unafraid of what's to come." 

Their words move everyone, each of the losers is on the verge of tears. As Stanley tosses the flag in, Ben speaks. 

"I think I speak for everyone here when I say that what you guys are doing is probably the bravest damn thing I can think of." 

Beverly nods, adding on a comment. "I know we wanted to leave right away, but staying here longer was worth it to make sure we are whole again." 

"Once a loser, always a loser," Mike starts corralling everyone in to hug. 

They feel sturdy, stronger than they did back in 1989, and stronger still. 

The fire is left burning throughout the night to ensure the destruction of the totems. If everything worked, they weren't sure what could be affected. 

For once, everyone sleeps soundly through the night. 

—————-

Eddie wakes up to a pleasant warmth around his waist. He blinks the sleep from his eyes, opening them to reveal a very asleep and a very nude Richie Toizer curled around him. Eddie thinks briefly back to the events of last night and very vividly recalls precisely what he and Richie got into after the ritual. 

Blood rushes to his cheeks, but Eddie can't really care. It was a good night, after all.

Richie has this big dopey grin on his face, and it makes Eddie's heart burst with affection. He really hoped things would stay like this. He wanted nothing more than to wake up to this asshole every morning for the rest of his life. 

Slowly, Richie begins to wake up as well. He squints and groans, stretching out by rolling onto his back. Richie pops an eye open to look up at Eddie. 

"Morning, beautiful." Eddie laughs at the sweet nickname. 

"Morning, Trashmouth." Richie mock punches him for that, then reaches over him to grab his glasses off the nightstand. 

Suddenly, Richie's got this shocked expression on his face, gaping down at Eddie. 

"W-what?" The abruptness of it seizes Eddie's chest, threatening to tip him into a panic attack. 

Then, Richie laughs. It bubbles up from inside, and tears are springing from his eyes. 

"Your scar, Eds. It's gone." 

Eddie reaches up to touch the stitches on his cheek, but all he feels is stubble and skin. 

"Holy shit," he breathes out, laughter peppering his speech. Eddie jumps out of bed, running to the bathroom mirror, and yeah, it's gone. 

"When we came out of the Neibolt House, our scars all healed," Richie calls out. "Do you think..?"

It's not hard to draw the conclusion. Eddie hurries out of the bathroom, smiling wide. 

"It fucking worked!" His enthusiasm is met with Richie turning as red as a tomato and wolf whistling. 

Eddie realizes that he, too, is buck ass naked. It's his turn to blush, and he strides over to grab some clothes to change into. 

"Hey," Richie calls, getting up himself. He stops Eddie from pulling on some pants by kissing him. It's sweet, full of hope. "I love you, Eddie."

"I love you too, Richie," Eddie admits, decidedly refusing to look down Richie's body.

Of course, Richie notices this, his eyebrows raising in a silent question of morning sex.

"Get dressed, dickwad."

He only receives a little complaint. 

——-

On the other side of the inn, a similar revelation is being had by one Stan Uris, now looking at completely barren wrists in the bathroom. It's a shock to have them gone, but also a relief. 

They were a guilt that couldn't be shaken, a constant reminder of his weakness and stupidity. To have them gone entirely.... it felt like the slate really was being wiped. 

He leaves the bathroom, wrists bared, and walks towards Bill, who stands at the intrusion. 

"They're gone!" Bill exclaims, grabbing Stanley's wrists and grinning from ear to ear. 

"They're gone." Stanley's voice crumbles, and he's being pulled into a tight embrace. 

He sobs in relief, Bill rubbing soothing circles into his back. 

"It's time to start over, Stan. Once and for all."

-

They head downstairs, already beaten to the punch by Eddie and Richie, now dousing the fire with water. 

"Is it done?" Stanley asks, fingers subconsciously reaching for Bill's. Eddie nods. 

"Nothing is left, Stan. My scars have disappeared. I think it's over." His message is also heard by the other three losers, now descending the stairs. 

"It's really over?" Mike says, somewhat in disbelief. He examines the ashes again, but he has a massive grin on his face. Beverly and Ben embrace others. 

"It's not exactly over, though, is it?" Beverly says, wringing her wrists in worry. "What about Patty, Audra, Myra? I don't know them, but it seems so unfair."

"I think the ritual handled the grief for us, actually," Bill speaks on behalf of the three wedded men. "We all experienced marital troubles the second we killed It, so in a screwed up way, it kind of made the decision for us."

Ben shakes his head. "It seems so odd, honestly. It even happened to you, Bev." 

"I don't think its meant to be a truly happy ending, really. We all will remember this, even the bad parts, for the rest of our lives." Stanley's tone is calming on them all. 

Eddie shakes his head in agreement. "I don't think it's really meant to be an easy decision either, we're all giving up something for a chance at something new." He emphasizes the statement with a soft smile in Richie's direction. 

The losers mimick the embrace from last night, breaking up to pack their things and finally leave.

Even thinking about it was giving them all a mixture of emotions, both sad and happy. 

\------

The bright sky above nearly blinds them with it's intenseness, as they all gather around the front entrance, making trips to their cars. 

Eddie is watching Richie take his numerous bags and shoving them in the trunk and backseat of his sports car, currently on the phone trying to get a pickup worked out with the rental place. 

Stanley is riding with Bill, helping him load the back and somehow mangle Silver into the trunk. It's an endearing struggle, one that makes them laugh and smile with the absurdity. 

Meanwhile, Richie is trying to convince Eddie to let him put the top down, and failing miserably. 

"We don't even know where we're going, dumbass. I'd rather not take my chances with the pathogens that might be breeding in the air, Eddie hisses over the phone. "and you're fucking funny if you think that I'm letting you drive that death machine first. You'll go batshit and I- Hello, yes, ma'am, I'm still here!" He shoots Richie another glare, returning to the call. 

Richie sticks his tongue out, but the infectious smile that follows betrays his true intentions. 

Eventually, everyone is packed, gathering together for the last time. The losers join hands, much like they did back at the quarry, all of those years before. It's fitting, and they all smile at one another. 

The losers club was getting out Derry, and they weren't leaving with holes. 

Tears fill all of their eyes, hugging each other, and putting phone numbers into contacts. 

"Daytona, three months from now, right guys?" Mike confirms. He was getting everything he ever wanted. His best friends. 

They all nod in agreement, waving goodbye for now.

—-

Stanley is driving Bill's car, as the latter is canceling his filming gig indefinitely, as they inch on down the road. Stan is grateful for the distraction, as he has a special surprise under his belt. 

Eventually, his secret can't be ignored, as Bill looks up, puzzled at their location as Stanley parks the car. 

"Cmon, Bill. I've got one last thing I want to do. " 

Bill follows, immediately recognizing the location, and the direction they're headed. He's confused but goes along with it. 

The stick marking the port seems empty without the flag, but it's hidden meaning still rings true. Bill rememberers building it after a particularly horrible nightmare after a night in the clubhouse, hoping and praying that they'd stop. 

Stanley turns then, offering Bill a choice of two paper boats. 

Bill finds himself at a loss for words, he picks the right one and examines it carefully. The paper is littered with inked writing. 

"I know they're not sealed so they won't sail at all, but I figured the sentiment was enough," Stanley says, placing his boat on the mound, just like they did all those years before. 

"What did you make these out of?" Bill asks, crouching to place his as well. 

"Suicide notes that I wrote to you all, explaining why I did it. I figured this would be a better use for them, anyway."

Bill's heart melts at that. He steps forward, picking up Stanley's wrist to press a firm kiss to the inside, where Stanley's scars used to be. 

"I love you. "Bill says, reaching forward to bring Stan in for a kiss. It's vindictive of the future, and it makes both men a little bleary-eyed. 

"I love you too." 

The two take one last glance at the port and walk back to their car, hands intertwined. 

"You know," Stanley begins, watching the forest floor and saying a silent goodbye to the clubhouse. "My aunt left me a lake house, down in North Carolina. Patty and I could never find a reason to live there, but the birds are beautiful." 

"Aren't you worried you'll run into Patty so close to Georgia?" 

Stanley shakes his head. "She's moving back to Minnesota. Plus, I figured it would be kinda perfect. There's this dock out there, I figured we could still send boats out for Georgie, or hell, even buy a boat and name it after him." 

Bill's heart fills with the notion, his smile is full, and he squeezes Stanley's hand firmly. 

"We could finish our bird book?" He suggests, loving the way it lights up Stan's eyes. 

"Sounds like a life I could get used to."

They get back into the car, and Stanley takes the lead on showing Bill what a good ending was supposed to be. 

——

Elsewhere, Stan and Bill aren't the only ones making detours before leaving Derry. Eddie is driving around somewhat aimlessly, and it's starting to worry Richie. 

"Dude, are you sure you don't need a GPS? It's not that hard to leave a town with the same square area as a Cheez-It." 

Eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes." No, asshole. I know where I'm fucking going. I'm trying to find something, alright?" 

Richie raises his hands in defeat. He turns his attention to the radio, attempting to sync up the console to his phone but finding it impossible. Derry was definitely old fashioned in every sense of the word, which meant no service whatsoever. 

He instead flips through the radio stations, forced to stop rather quickly. Eddie had parked the car. 

Richie looks up, seeing the barn-like overpass and furrowing his brows in confusion. 

" I wanted to show you something," Eddie says, softly, getting out of the car. Richie follows but stands still once he reaches the good. He has no idea where Eddie is going with this.

Eddie steps forward, going to each side of the bridge, searching. Richie approaches.

" Hate to break it to you, Eddie Spaghetti, but my embarrassing prepubescent love confession is over here." He points to the carving, a new affinity for it in his heart. 

Eddie shakes his head." I know where that is, dummy." He bends down, then exclaims." AHA! Found it!" He beckons Richie over. 

" I completely forgot about this until you showed me your carving last night."

Richie doesn't really know what he's looking at, he crouches and squint's, scratching his head. Eddie rolls his eyes, then traces what he's talking about. 

E, followed by a heart, followed by the letter R. 

Richie's heart nearly stops. It had been there for a while, that much was true but had Eddie really-? 

He gets no time to dwell on it, because Eddie starts talking, that fast, erratic way that makes it difficult to understand.

" You remember how I wrote over what Gretta signed my cast with? How it said Lover instead of Loser?" 

Richie nods. 

" Well, I did that because I realized something after I broke my arm in the Neibolt house. I was so scared back then, Rich. I thought I was going to die and never get to be with you guys or hear another joke from your stupid mouth. I was so scared of everything, but I wasn't going to be scared of my feelings for you."

Eddie has tears in his eyes. He wipes them away, continuing. 

" After I wrote over it, I decided to come here and carve this, so I could be brave in my own secret way. Those months we spent apart were hell, Richie. I didn't think my heart could hurt that bad. Then, I saw you, and everything felt right. I wasn't scared about diseases or infections, or or-"

" Beep beep, Eddie." Richie's gripping onto the sleeves of Eddie's hoodie, pulling him in. The poor guy was nearly hyperventilating with the power behind his words. 

Eddie pulls Richie down into a bruising kiss, tears wetting Richie's cheeks as he calms down.

" Did you just' beep beep' me?" Eddie says, laughing into Richie's shirt. 

" It worked, didn't it?" Richie joins in. 

He turns to head back to the car, hearing a camera snap behind him. Eddie is still bent down, taking pictures of his carving. He sprints over to the other side and gets a photo of Richie's. 

" I don't want to forget this time." He explains with a wistful grin before heading back as well. 

The first jerk forward feels like a ceremonial cutting of the ribbon, then it happens.

They're leaving Derry, the water tower a distant part of the skyline. Richie looks over at Eddie, smiling and eyes saying what didn't need saying at all. 

Eddie flexes his fingers on the steering wheel and turns the radio up. 

As they pass out of city limits, the song carries them.

_ Oh, I've seen fire, and I've seen rain _

_ I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end _ .

_ I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend _ .

_ But I always thought that I'd see you again _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Okay, once more, I can not thank you guys enough for supporting this story. Its been my baby for the past month and a half, and as I write this, I'm tearing up. The feedback has been phenomenal.
> 
> I've seen the movie two times now, and I'm shocked that most of it stayed true to the film. It's been such a blast writing these characters, and I want to move forward with more stories if i can think of any. Hopefully, you picked up on an implied avenue I'll go with the smut for Reddie. Stenbrough smut is in the works too, but i chose to leave it out because i think the story holds up fine without. Keep your eyes peeled for addendums!
> 
> If you had told me I'd be able to cohesively write an over 20K fic and finish it with as much love as I had for it before, I wouldn't have believed you. I'm so so proud of this, and im so honored that you took the time to read this all. 
> 
> The song is Fire and Rain by James Taylor, one of the things that inspired me to write this in the first place. Feels right to end it with it. :)
> 
> As always, please leave comments and kudos for old time's sake. Let me know if i made you cry :')
> 
> Thank you all so much.
> 
> -pink link


End file.
